Almost everyone who leaves Shanghai leaves with the same regrets: the water town they never visited, the local friend they never made.
Almost everyone who leaves Shanghai leaves with the same short list of regrets: the water town they never took the train to, the local friend they meant to make, the crab season they kept saying they would do next year. This is the antidote, an honest bucket list of the things that actually stay with you, sorted so you can start this weekend. Not the tourist checklist. The things that make you homesick for Shanghai once you are gone.
The strange truth of expat life here is that the clock is always running and you never quite believe it. Then a job changes, a visa shifts, a family calls you home, and suddenly the list of "one day" becomes the list of "too late." So here is the list to beat that, grouped by how much planning each one needs. Do the ones that scare you a little first.
Good to know
- Good for: anyone who has been here six months or six years and keeps saying "next year."
- How to use it: pick one from each group below and put a real date on it. The seasonal ones expire; the everyday ones you will miss most.
- The rule: do the ones that take a little courage before the ones that take only a taxi.
The everyday rituals you will miss the most
The things expats grieve after leaving are almost never the landmarks. They are the small daily textures you stopped noticing. Do these on an ordinary Tuesday, and notice them on purpose this time.
- Eat breakfast standing on the street. Fresh sheng jian bao or a jianbing from a corner stall, eaten while the lane wakes up. It costs a few kuai and it is the most Shanghai thing you can do before 9am.
- Shop a wet market and cook what you find. Our guide to shopping a wet market without overpaying turns an intimidating hall into your Saturday ritual.
- Eat a full meal at a community canteen. A hot lunch for around 15 RMB (about USD 2.20) among the neighbourhood regulars. Our community canteen guide shows where.
- Find your soup-dumpling spot. Not the famous one with the queue, the one near you. Start with our xiaolongbao guide and then go rogue.
The big set-pieces worth the effort
Some things are famous because they are genuinely worth it, as long as you do them right, which usually means early, late, or off-season.
- The Bund at dawn, before the crowds. Set an alarm once. Empty riverfront, pink light on Pudong, the whole city yours for twenty minutes. It ruins the daytime version forever.
- A rooftop at sunset. Time it right and pick the one that suits you with our honest rooftop bars guide, which tells you which are worth the markup and which to skip.
- A night in a hidden cocktail bar. The city's speakeasy scene is a proper art form. Find the unmarked door once and you are hooked.
- A museum on a free-entry day. excellent collections, often free, rarely crowded midweek. Our museums guide has the booking tricks and the free days.
The seasonal ones you have to time
These have a window, and the window is the whole point. Miss it and you wait a year, which is exactly how people end up leaving without ever doing them. Here is when each one lands.
| Do this | When it lands |
|---|---|
| Hairy crab, eaten properly | Roughly October to December |
| Plane trees and ginkgo turning gold | Mid-November into December |
| A full moon and mooncakes at Mid-Autumn | Around late September or October |
| A summer night in a park after dark | June to September |
For the crab, our hairy crab guide has the timing and the how-to; for the leaves and the good autumn weeks, see Shanghai in autumn; and there is a whole secret life in the parks worth catching before you go.
The out-of-town ones you keep postponing
The train makes the region absurdly reachable, and yet the water town two hours away is the classic "we never went." Fix it with one weekend. Our day trips guide covers Suzhou, Hangzhou and the water towns, and if you want the trip to be the point, the sleeper train is a slow-travel rite of passage all on its own.
The ones that actually change you
These are the items nobody puts on a tourist list and everybody regrets skipping, because they are the ones that turn a posting into a life. They take more than a taxi. They are worth more than all the rest combined.
- Learn enough Mandarin to make a joke. Not fluency, just enough to land one line and watch a face light up. Our Mandarin guide is where it starts.
- Make one real local friend. The single highest-value thing you can do here, and the one most expats leave without. Our guide to making actual Chinese friends is honest about how.
- Survive a full KTV night. Terrifying, then transcendent. See how KTV actually works and say yes the next time colleagues ask.
- Get properly lost on a citywalk. No destination, no map. The five citywalk routes are a good excuse, but the real one is the wrong turn you take after.
Confucius, standing on a riverbank, said 逝者如斯夫，不舍昼夜, it passes on just like this, never resting, day or night. Shanghai does the same. The list is not about doing everything; it is about not letting the water carry off the few that matter.
What should I do in Shanghai before I leave for good?
Prioritise the things you cannot get anywhere else: hairy crab in autumn, the Bund at dawn, a water-town day trip, and one real local friendship. The everyday rituals, street breakfast, your own dumpling spot, a wet-market Saturday, are the ones expats miss most once they are gone, so do those on purpose too.
What is the most Shanghai thing to do?
Eat breakfast standing on the street as the lane wakes up, then walk a plane-tree-lined road with no destination. It costs almost nothing, it is pure Shanghai, and it is the memory that comes back hardest after you leave. The landmarks are optional; the daily texture is the city.
When should I see autumn colour and eat hairy crab in Shanghai?
Hairy crab runs roughly October to December, and the plane trees and ginkgo turn gold from mid-November into December, later than most newcomers expect. If you only have one autumn left here, plan a November weekend around both, because that window closes fast.
What do expats regret not doing in Shanghai?
The three that come up again and again: never learning enough Mandarin to connect, never making a genuine local friend, and never taking the short train ride to a water town. All three are within reach in a single season, and all three are what people wish they had started sooner.
Words, maps and research by the Choice Shanghai team. Please credit us and tag our 公众号 if you share.
